5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Men and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Men and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

About a month ago, certainly one of my siblings tagged me in a video clip she recorded of Family Feud, a casino game show where two families compete for the money award by looking for the most used answers to many different concerns. A woman might choose to be by having a chubby or fat man. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a humorous round in the minds regarding the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this video on the Facebook web page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It had been quite contrary: my sibling ended up being mad at the round’s subject additionally the responses offered. My sister published:

“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become gorgeous, to be desired, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is never OK! ”</p>

My sister tagged me personally on this page knowing my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat person that is masculine, once you understand I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot regarding the Family Feud game board with all the six top responses: “Fatty got money” (34 away from 100 people surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize many of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat people — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling out myths that are fatphobic demonstrably maybe perhaps not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to score laughs that are cheap. Let’s go through each one of the top six most answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to males of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Power

The misconception: the truth that this myth is one of popular associated with the six offered answers — 34 of this 100 people initially surveyed offered this or even a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This myth is one thing we see throughout US tradition, whether it’s in films, politics, or culture that is popular.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they wanted decide to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of thought is incredibly damaging for a lot of fat guys, putting each of their value as individuals to the cash or energy they could or might not have.

More reads that are radical going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person into the picture

The reality: While you will find, needless to say, some individuals whom only look for relationships for cash or energy, the fact is that quite often, individuals will prefer to get with a fat guy because they really desire to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently put on thin or “fit” guys, unless of program that individual is famous to possess cash or energy. Nonetheless it’s much easier for folks to know two skinny or traditionally appealing individuals being together because they’re interested in one another than each time a thin or usually appealing individual chooses become with a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The misconception: with this specific misconception, we come across just how individuals make an effort to simply take people’s that are away fat. It shows that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether or not it’s since they just find other fat individuals attractive or that’s all they could “get”, in the many brutal of terms.

Slipped into this myth is a relevant fatphobic myth: that most fat everyone loves for eating a lot of food, and all sorts of individuals who want to consume food are fat.

The facts: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will only look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, skinny, as well as in between — may be and frequently are interested in a wide number of individuals of all of the size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will only ever be with fat people has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So that as when it comes to indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All men that are fat relating to this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just use them to look more appealing in contrast. This myth helps make the assumption that, as mentioned above, nobody could conceivably take a relationship with a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat individuals are merely tools to presumably make their non-fat) partners feel more desirable.

The facts: in the same way many people might pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, some individuals might just pursue fat males to look more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response might have us think.

I’ll keep saying the purpose, no matter if We appear to be a broken record: many individuals actually find fat guys appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

This is truly the only truly mocking-free solution included in the most truly effective responses from the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with fatphobia that is entrenched display into the other countries in the responses. In addition it is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the clear answer provided by just nine individuals.

What exactly are fat males watching designed to consider their health and their well worth as humans?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Yet Not Sex

The misconception: it is among those “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident. ”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else in the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a solution that finished up maybe perhaps not being from the board: that a lady would date a fat man because he had been good at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, responded as though it was the absolute most answer that is outrageous the whole world, aided by the other participants while the market laughing in agreement. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as sexual beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate whoever desires to be viewed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only redeeming quality our tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are indeed “warm and cuddly, for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.

Further, just what somebody perceives as being “good” or “bad” at sex is actually totally subjective and located in personal choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys could possibly be “good” at sex further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Want To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do just about dine app anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have within their current relationship. Quite simply, they understand that no body else may wish to be together with them.

The facts: To bluntly put it, that is upright wrong. This dehumanizing survey response assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it can be to admit, fat guys are just like likely as just about any males to cheat to their lovers. And many more crucially, this myth posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, no body would provide them to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once more, can be drastically wrong to assume.